I left part 2

I left the first time my father verbally abused me.

I still leave to this day.  Better to cry and get the pain out then to wind up to now in the fucking looney bin again.   My dad will give voice to things I cannot,  because I am the "crazy one".  I am not a 35 year old woman who can think for herself.  

In Gilead I am a handmaid desperate for the little freedoms of life. 

Everyone who meets my daughter says she looks like me.  It is the first thing they say.  My daughter is 11 and gaining a figure. 

Don't be surprised if you ever see me in the papers over some pervert who looked at my daughter the wrong way.   I have an ocean of patience. But not when it comes to someone violating my daughter.

On my own

There are battles I should be able to battle on my own.   Due to my mental illness and being a single mom, that cannot be.   Tonight is the first night I have accepted this.  Eyes full of tears, pain in my heart, but I accept it.  I could cry a river over this, but fuck that.

Do not let the bastards grind you down. You are not less than if you are a single parent and ask for help.  Do not be a martyr.   Be a good, modern parent (male, female, transgender etc.) and ask for help when you need it.