Contact Katie for any questions, comments, etc:

I do not have a problem with people posting comments under anon., but I have to have word verification turned on due to too much spam. This blog is basically an abridged online diary, and I treat it as though it's another one of my paper journals. That means it is not written to provoke conversation, but I don't mind having people who understand the concept of "respect given is respect due" putting in their two cents.

At the end of the day, this blog is not here to make money or make anybody happy but me. People liking it and reading it (and dare I say impressed by it) is an added bonus.

I also like to spend time here:

Tell Your Stories

Friday, January 16, 2015

Back in February

I have a lot more to do than I thought I did.  We just finalized plans for my fam's summer vacation, so I have to start saving up and shopping around for Lexi and I's summer wardrobe, I have a ton o chores to do, I have books and movies and writing I have been putting off for too long and I need a blogging break.  I have things queued for so there will still be something to read while I'm gone.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Requiem for an eating disorder

Written Sep 29, 2008

It started with routine self-loathing.  Time wasted gazing at the reflection created by the non-existent fun house mirror, picking out exactly what I could not stand about what I saw.  Taking in the exact details of why I hated the (slight) excess of flesh around my waist, the (minimal) softness of my thigh, the extra (inch of) flesh I could manage to pinch on my arm.

Every day I would make an appointment to take off my clothes and stare in disgust at what I saw.

Then came the limitations.

I can’t eat too much of this type of food; it will go straight to my hips.  I can’t drink too many of these types of cocktails; the empty calories will show up on my ass in a matter of days; a tangible reminder that I am a complete failure, that I have absolutely no control.

Since I sabotaged my diet this weekend, I might as well go all out.  Calories vacuumed into my stomach by the hundreds, so fast that I don’t even taste what I am eating.  I am a machine who’s only job is to process food.  I am a zombie completely zoned out of reality.  I am an addict in the sickening yet euphoric throes of a serotonin, casomorphin, tryptophan eight-ball high, and I am every bit as docile and useless as the next heroin junkie you might pass by on the street.

Then there is the crash.  With the crash comes reality.  With reality comes panic, guilt, rage, and disappointment.

As well as the need to reverse the damage I've just done before it’s too late.

Puking or using laxatives was never my thing.  So I abstain.

I’ll eat just enough to keep myself from fainting every time I stand up.  I’ll have my morning ration and exercise right after I’m done.  I’ll run as though I were in fear for my life, only I won’t go anywhere at all, and I’ll have my evening ration while trying to ignore the cries my stomach makes while I attempt to sleep.

I’ll do this day after day after day until I see the scale go back to that magic number.

I have reached it; hallelujah.  Everyone around me tells me how fantastic I look.  I get glares of jealousy from other females whom are bigger than me.  I am gawked at by every lustful young male I pass by on the street.  I have girlfriends who gush about how much they “hate” how skinny I’ve become.

But now that I am back to that magic number, I realize that I am not getting the same thrill I once did.

So I make up a new magic number.

And so it goes…..

If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, or you are just worried about their disordered eating, please visit the following sites:

Monday, December 29, 2014

So THAT Happened....

We had to get a motel room on the 26th because we had a huge, solid clog in our plumbing and our yard had to be dug up and we would have had no running water, no showers and no flushing for about 24 hours.  Thanks to a military discount we got to have two rooms.  Lexi thought it was a party, what with the vending machines and the big window and having a bed to herself to bounce on for hours while I got a bed all to myself.  She ran out of the room a couple of times and the first time I just ran after her and forgot my key, with neither of us wearing shoes and her in bare feet and had to trek over to the lobby to get another key.  D'OH!

We also had a "slumber party" google hangout for a bit, and while my daughter was sitting next to me some dude wrote this:


I did get to watch Pee Wee's Christmas Special with my Mom for the first time in a few years and got to catch up on some blogging.

 Thank God for hotel wifi.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

It's fun and games til someone haz a butthurt

EMAILING a C&D!!!  You can't make this shit up!!!!
I'm not posting this response on the website this comment was left on, I'm posting it here so that you can see how there are some fans that just blow shit WAAAAY out of proportion, no matter how big or little the celebrity is.  
The content of the video was violent, yes, but it is a legit parody and that is not breaking any laws, even with said violence.  I once saw a Youtube video of an honest to God suicide.  Some dude was up on a podium at some sort of conference and suddenly pulled out a gun, put it in his mouth, and blew the back of his head all over the wall behind him.  I don't know about you, Taylor, but to me that's a hell of a lot worse for people to stumble upon.  There are plenty more suicides uploaded to Youtube, not to mention beatings and probably killings too, that are much more important to bring to Youtube's attention than a goddamn parody by some chick who's doing a really shitty job at trying to be Alanis Morissette circa the song "You Outta Know".  Uh oh, is this blog going to be taken down because I'm also refusing to kiss your ass, Taylor?

Just because Shane Dawson isn't lawyered up as much as somebody like Taylor Swift is doesn't make it OK to pick on someone who is part of a trend of individuals who help keep Youtube and the businesses they sell ad space to afloat.  It's ok to leech off of their talents until they post something that put boo-boo's on your feelings, is that the message of this whole capitalist shit-storm?

 You aren't living in a world where you can brain wash via the media as easily as you could starting back in the radio days.  There will never be another "War of the Worlds" or another publicity campaign like the one for "The Blair Witch Project."

Bullying such as this can certainly bite you in the ass and make you regret you even tried using Shane Dawson as a diversion tactic. The younger demographics are waking up to the concept of "disinformation" and the ones whom are awake now aren't taking any of Big Business's bullshit lightly.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

I turned 31 yesterday #oldgeezer

I turned 31 yesterday.  Pretty relaxing birthday due to not having to be a caretaker.  I slept for five straight hours.  My parents took care of Lexi while I slept.  Then I ate a huge bowl of shrimp fried rice and had me some vanilla birthday cake AND a chocolate and vanilla cupcake.  I got birthday money and got myself the first season of "Sifl and Olly" on instant video.

Actually it was a little vanilla cake surrounded by vanilla and chocolate cupcakes, all with vanilla buttercream frosting. I'm actually not a huge fan of frosting: I never could understand how "grown ups" were always insisting that kids always just want the frosting, or people who HAD to have frosting in the fridge at all times.  If you're really not into it like I am, it can taste so sickeningly SWEET and it makes you queasy.  I have the same reaction when I used to watch "Big Loser" and they would have mountains of donuts as a temptation.  I do love a nice cake or donut, but binge eating that much sugar makes turns my face green.

Today I spent all my birthday money getting odds and ends I needed at Rite Aid with Lexi.  It was actually a really nice walk today.  Clear blue skies, not too cold, it had finally stopped raining and everything was almost dried off.  Best of all: it was QUIET.  I got myself some clearance cosmetics that I'm testing right now.

I guess I'll update this with pictures later.

Monday, November 24, 2014


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Deep thoughts #hungergames edition

Wouldn't President Snow's granddaughter be thrown into the reaping when she turns 12, or does she get a get-out-of-jail-free card from the ages 12-18?

I find it insulting that Donald Sutherland insists that President Snow loves Katniss.  What the hell kind of logic is that?  As a big fan of his I admit I am very disappointed he sees it that way.  Men do not beat or kill their women because they love them, they do it because in their world of blood and roses, they grew up watching their father beat or murder their mother.  Violence and abuse is a cycle.  President Snow was one years old when  The Hunger Games began.  He grew up being forced to watch children die.  If he truly loved the people of Panem, he would have stopped the games dead in its tracks.

  You don't kill or harm the people you love.  You do not make speeches about how much you love and only want to protect your country and then commit genocide within it because a 16 year old girl made you look (rightfully so) like the piece of shit that you are for not breaking the cycle.

Watchin' #hungergames on ABC Family, havin' a larf

and looking around

Tuesday, November 11, 2014


"If you have someone who is Active Duty and deployed in the Middle East including Iraq, Afghanistan, and those deployed supporting Operation Enduring Freedom or Operation Inherent Resolve that you would like to receive some love and reminders from home in the form of a care package, please contact us!  We want to ship to our Americans deployed to the Middle East, no matter where they are from here at home!!! "

packages/Cash donations: 


-tasty cakes
-girl scout cookies
-protein/energy powder
-protein/energy bars
-bagged tuna or chicken
-baby wipes or baby powder
-pumpkin seeds/sunflower seeds
-rice crispy treats
-mio liquid water enhancer
-5 hour energy drink products
-crystal light/gatorade power mix
-granola/multi-grain bars
-breakfast bars
-mixed nuts (in canisters, bags, packets)
-tea bags
-dried fruit
-beef jerky/slim jim's
-coffee (in canisters/packets, NO K-cups
-fruit cups (multi pack)
-pudding snack packs
-tooth brushes/tooth paste
-hand sanitizer
-batteries (AA, AAA, C, D)
-bottled shampoo/conditioner
-pringles (canister or packets)