What's in a name?

 I understand why one would cry over it, but honestly, from where I'm sitting it's hard to get that upset by how cruel people can be to special needs kids because my daughter and I have been raised in an environment that just doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior.

Lexi with her pet dogs Kermit and Marbles

 People can talk all the shit they want about New Jersey, but it takes a village to raise a child, and  my non-verbal Autistic daughter Alexis is one of the sweetest, kindest, most well-behaved kids I have ever known in my life.  She is growing up in a very Stars Hollow "If we burn, you burn with us" type of town, so on second thought, I can only speak for myself when it comes to the tolerance of a small town in NJ.

Why are we so tolerant of Autism here?  Because of the Jersey Shore, of course:

Autistics LOVE water!

Anyway.

My kid's looks obviously don't hurt but they have nothing to do with how amazing she is.  And she's amazing not just because I happen to be awesome at being a single mother even though I'm the baby (aka spoiled brat due to my one and only sibling being 8 years older and a second Mom to me) of my family, but because of the school she goes to and the treatment that has been available to her.   It is also because of the treatment given to myself, her father, my parents, my family, friends, and acquaintances by people who are good at their job and make sure they do their job at no expense to us.

 No expense to us because they would rather pay out of pocket and help the cause than choose to follow the money like Toucan Sam and  join the 1%.  The NJ PASC campus that my daughter goes to always needs donations, and I do my best with what I can work with.  Charity begins in the home.

The best way to keep the power of tolerance going is to understand that nothing and no one will just hand it over to you: you have to take it, and if you can't take it outright, you fight for it.

 Maybe it's the US army vet relatives in my blood, both alive and dead that's also talking right now, but hope is the only thing that is ever worth fighting for, because despite our differences as human beings, there is always one universal truth that can change enemies into allies: if there is hope, there is no room for fear.

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Life

Lexi is at a school that she will be in until she graduates high school.  My county's special services are some of the best around.  The bus driver and crew are already enamored of her.  A neighbor still goes to the special school in my town that Lexi went to, so right after she is dropped off, Lexi and I wave hello to the bus driver.  She says Lexi has gotten big, and she has.  While a little chubby, Lexi could be the bouncer at any birthday party parents create for their kids.  Her fee is a plate of really good french fries with lots of ketchup.

(Lexi getting off the bus from her 1st day of school)

Life has been boiled down to this:

My mother, my daughter and I, all on our brand new front porch, Mom and I listening to dirty stand up comedians (Ralphie May on Rhapsody), while we watch Lexi bounce around from one side of the porch to the other.  On a beautiful day you can sit there and as you look up you feel like you're in the planetarium of the Ben Franklin Institute.  We sit and I sift through one of my tablets, my Mom and I searching for Halloween costumes.  This porch is rife for a good prank.  The old "dead body on the porch" trick.  I haven't decided yet.  Dad also barbeques more.  I forgot how much I missed his BBQ'ed salt and pepper chicken wings.  The produce in NJ this summer has been INSANE.  Corn on the cob so sweet and tasty you don't even need butter.  I didn't bite into one single sour strawberry, I watched my daughter eat tomatoes as if they were apples, and this summer had peaches that were so juicy you had to eat them with a bib.

I love when my part of the Earth is on the cusp of Fall.  It is my favorite time of the year.

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What is your biggest dream in life?

Day 28: What is your biggest dream in life (what one great thing do you want to accomplish)?


I have lost count on how many times I have told this story:

I have wanted my own bar & grill for the past seven years.  My dad makes some seriously good ribs and since I have a little experience working at a bar and grill it makes me want to open one that much more.  My father is also retiring at the beginning of next year and he's a workaholic so he'll need something to keep him occupied.  There is an entrepreneur course at my community college and I think if I take that along with saving up money for the next five years or so I could open one up.

It doesn't have to be a bar, even.  The way things look I might have to have it just be a place to get some good BBQ.  There is a place like that right near my house, a seafood place, that was voted one of the best places to get seafood in NJ Monthly Magazine.  I would be perfectly happy having a small place of my own grilling up BBQ for ten years or so.  My dad likes the idea so I think it would be a good thing to have a family run place for a while.  Then when I feel the time is right I'll sell it.

One of the things that makes me happy is cooking, and if I could do that in my own place for a few years, then I would be perfectly content.

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Weather or Not

If you know anything about me, you would know how much I hate severe changes in the weather. Case in point: yesterday it was 70 degrees in my particular part of NJ, now you need your winter coat again. A change that drastic really makes me feel like crap. Sometimes I even get flu-like symptoms when the weather changes more than 10 degrees overnight.

The good thing about it having been that hot in the middle of February is that it melted about 95% of the snow that has been lingering for going on two months. Lexi and I had a nice walk today and will be able to have more as long as it doesn't freakin' snow too much in the near future. I'm almost dying of cabin fever over here.
Normally I can take being inside for most of the time but I can't be in here all the time for a week straight like I've had to do after we got like ten accumulated inches of snow.

I am past the "OMG I love winter I can breathe better because there are hardly any allergens in the air" and I just want to have some nice weather for a change. I wish it could be 72 degrees all the time. That would be lovely.

burr

I can't get to the gym much this week because of the snow that keeps coming off and on here in "Joisey". I've been spending a lot of my time watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix. I really miss that show and I can't believe it isn't on syndication anywhere. I don't pay any attention to the modern vampire shows because I'm such a die-hard Buffy fan.

I lie in bed and watch it while I have my window open. I need the fresh air badly for my allergies. I have a nice big comforter to hide under if my room gets too cold at any time. Since it started snowing I've been spending a lot of my time in my bed with my laptop or my TV while Lexi watches TV and plays sectioned off in the living room (So she doesn't run into any rooms that are open in the hallway where all the stuff that can hurt her resides).

Today I get to go to the chiropractor later to get some TLC for my back and my sciatica. I haven't been going there regularly like I should, but the cold weather does have to drawback of making my bones hurt if it's too brisk outside. My chiropractor has this machine that puts these sonic vibrations (I'm not sure exactly what it is called) into the muscles that are bothering you and it loosens all that stress and lactic acid that was residing in them. I can't wait because my back is killing me.