My dad buys the best port

I use a peg leg condom

Porn Star in Training

Way back when I was 16 I spent a week at my Aunt and Uncle's to hang out with them and my two cousins.  The older cousin was going away to college very soon so I stayed there because it was the last time we could really hang out (and boy was I right, considering her career now).

One night I was out on the boardwalk with  my cousins and a friend of my older cousin.  Eventually we made a stop at The Shore Store:



and picked up my first Shore Store T-shirt:




I totally got it to give my dad the proverbial "parent heart attack", but it turned out my cousin and Aunt freaked out about it more than he did: he just thought it was funny.

My A/C repair woman finally came today....

Her fee is cookies and milk.

I Hate Being a Grown Up

I don't bloody want it!

Absolutely Fabulous - Series One Outtakes

For Open Salon:

http://youtu.be/NGEr-EXDB-M




For Open Salon:

http://youtu.be/wE0DA0kDudQ

Suffice it to say

I have this friend who's married. He is someone I have fillied around a bit with online way back in the day, and I always wonder if I had the chance to sit with the two of them and reminisce about the IM conversations I have had with her husband over the years. I think it would go something like this:


Names not mentioned for privacy:

My conversation with his wife: (1/3/2012: I have no idea why I put "with his wife" LOL I must have been watching TV and trying to blog at the same time.)

Me: "Can I ask you a question? Does he throw lunch meat at your ass , or is it just me?"

Me: "Has he ever shoved a rubber ducky up your ass while you rub his shoulders? Am I the only one here?"

Me: "If you have NOT had **** ask if he could tape a dildo to a remote control car and fuck you with it, take a drink".

.....and so on and so forth.


I am hoping she would be doubled over because the above is a right good laugh: but one never knows. Then again, I do not think my friend could marry someone who was completely uptight as he is by far not uptight (duh). This would be an interesting dinner conversation. I have more sordid stories besides that one but I'm saving them for later. xoxo Katie

Moar Sunday lulz (must read!)

I literally came across this in the spam section of my wrasslin' blog:

"Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone"

I just thought that was awesome :)

Ok, carry on!

Some Sunday lulz

http://youtu.be/QcS0BZpLh1k

GB2: WEEK #11 (7-31-11 to 8-6-11): Instinct

I have the most amazing connection with my daughter. This instinct is as old as time: a mother's love for her children. It is not just left to humans either.

My mother instinct has this weird ability: I can smell when my daughter has taken a dump even if she's on the other side of the house. I catch a whiff of it and I go to check on her and low and behold: I was right. It's like the way Lorilai Gilmore could sense snow because she could smell it in the air.

This is definitely not the most glamorous super power, but I have it none the less.

I lol'ed

How to fake an orgasm

http://youtu.be/oSvufO2953E

Lifetime: Television for sissies

Ok I'm back

If you did not know, I am a vocalist, and this is the song that I would pick if I ever were to audition for "American Idol":

oh hai! I haz a Youtube stalker!

This is the third profile this person has bothered me from lol

The Disfunctional Home Show

These is my favorite sketches ever:

Ma's Roadhouse

First time I saw this I was in the middle of a cigarette relapse. Needless to say I quit right after seeing this, because I have a cute voice and do not want to grow up sounding like "Ma":

"He's Dreamy"

I don't think you can get much more metrosexual than this without just flat out crossing into Queertown.....

My mom

I'm pretty sure I developed my raunchy sense of humor and sarcasm from my mother. She's been my cinema pal since I was old enough to sit in a movie theater. When I was younger it was all about the Disney movies. I feel really lucky to have come of age during what was, let's face it, the best years of Disney possibly of all time. I mean, "The Little Mermaid", "Beauty and the Beast", "Aladdin", "The Lion King": I saw all of them in the theaters with my mom.

You would never guess that my mom, now in her 60's, would be the type of woman to go see "Me, Myself, and Irene", "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" or "Clerks 2" with her daughter, but it is perfectly natural for us. We're like a modern day "matinee ladies".

I have to admit: it's really funny to watch her reactions during the more naughty parts of whatever movie we're watching.

I believe the next movie we'll see will be "The Hangover 2". Yea, I'm going to watch "The Hangover 2" with Mini Me's grandma, and I am proud.