Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I still can't believe it. My sister is a widow now. My brother in law passed away last night: died in his sleep due to a heart attack. I just saw him on Thanksgiving, and to be honest, he looked a little under the weather.

I'm so heartbroken and I don't know what to do. My sister is one of my best friends, and hell, the wedding was only about four years ago. I can still remember all of it. It was the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. I remember the big trip to Seattle and Vancouver that the three of us went on: it was SO much fun.

I feel angry more than anything. How could this happen-especially right before Christmas? It isn't fair. That's all I can think-it isn't fucking fair. My nephew turns one this month. He will never know his father. Another thing I am angry about.

His dad had died the year before right around this time about a year ago, and now this.

My heart hurts.


  1. OMG I am so sorry to hear this, my friend. I cannot even imagine what you are feeling right now. My thoughts and hugs are for you and your family... <3

  2. I cannot offer you words that will heal or words that will make easier what you and your sister are suffering. Know that love persists beyond this life... as a poet I offer poems so here is mine - I am sorry that it is not more.

    death in the morning, before sunrise

    you are beyond the grave and soon will be ashes
    how short this life!
    how this pain has ended!
    I am not sorry for us, for
    we had known you,
    I am not sorry for death
    as it is mercy;
    I am not sorry for you
    as you were magnanimous
    and not even death can
    remove this magnanimity.

    - J. Baker