Right out of the gate, I'm keeping it 100, when I hear the word "control" I think about food.
When I was a kid, food was my best friend. It was the typical "use food to not deal with what the real problem is" kind of thing. My dad was a heavy drinker back then, so I always needed something to calm me down and fill my brain with my body's natural feel-good chemicals in order to function.
It caused me to gain weight and with that weight gain, I became a target for bullies. Now a lot of my schoolmates say I was never really as big as I made myself out to be, but the damage was already done.
I went through years of disordered eating and eventually became an exercise bulimic- something I battle with to this day. After my daughter was born was when the bulimia was at its worst. I was obsessed with loosing the baby weight, and I dropped it fast. It didn't stop there, unfortunately.
Nowadays I am in a dilemma because my medication has made me gain a rather substantial amount of weight. I am doing my best to loose this weight gain sensibly and with much more concern for my overall health.
Day by day is the only way I can deal with it and still stay relatively happy.
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