Monday, June 6, 2011

GBE2: Lost and Found

About six months after I had my daughter, I became sexually frigid. I felt undesirable. I felt like no male would be able to bare being with me since I pretty much never wanted it.

I would get a flutter here and there at the sight of a handsome fella here and there, on the television or on the internet. I'd try to play architect and construct a fantasy-nothing. I'd even tried watching some free porn online. Hey, that should have done the trick, right? And it did, at least when I was by myself. I would have to visualize the dirty scenes I had just witnessed when I was by myself or with someone. It worked to an extent, and I was even beginning to have regular orgasms.

Until Prozac.

Prozac, in my case, was a Godsend for my mood swings and even my menstrual cycle, but it put the breaks on my sex drive entirely.

I tried to get it back- I watched so much porn I could have gotten a job writing reviews on them. I tried to watch the "romantic" category often. My brain would say how hot the scene was, but my libido sight and said to itself "So what? Booooring!"

I went through months of this until I happened to see a commercial for the television show "Burn Notice". I saw the main character, Jeffrey Donovan, and out of nowhere, a spark lit up deep down between my legs and sent shivers up my spine. I started watching the series and I couldn't believe how much this man could turn me on. I started doing research on him and found out he was in other movies I had seen before: "Hitch", "Sleepers" ("Sleepers" is based on a book I had read in 8th grade. Yes, I am that much of a bookworm), among others that I rented on Netflix.

Just everything about him turns me on- his eyes, his smile, his amazing body (if you rent the movie "Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows", you get to see what a cute butt he has), his voice his personality.

Hell, I like him so much I actually slept with someone who looked like Jeffrey would have looked like if he were 23. It was very satisfactory, to say the least.

I call him Price Charming since he was the first man to completely awaken me from my libido's slumber. I had lost what made me feel like a red-blooded woman and found somebody who had found that glowing ember that, lucky for me, had not entirely been snuffed.

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  1. My goodness...and I thought I loved Johnny Depp and Ian Somerhalder XD

    I've never noticed him in the movie "Sleepers" but I absolutely love that movie! One of my faves of all time.

  2. My favorite actor is Michael Weatherly. If you watch NCIS, you'll understand why. It's not just his face or just his body, it's the way he moves his face and the way he moves his body. It's his personality...oops, I think I'd better stop.

    Theresa Wiza
    My latest GBE 2 post:

  3. Wow! This is very personal, but relatable. I think that every woman goes through what you've described at some time or another in her life. It's good that you were able to find a way back to yourself. I'll have to look up this particular actor! LOL!

  4. very honest and informative! =)

  5. I love that you are upfront and honest here. I'll have to look up the actor you mentioned. When I was younger (in the 80's) Bruce Willis was that actor for I've gotten older my tastes have changed. I think Chris Noth is as sexy as they come :)

    Great post...thanks for sharing :)


  6. Thank you everyone for commenting!

  7. Loved this post!! I think at one time or another everyone goes through this although most would never admit it!! I kind of lost any desire for sex after I was raped. It took me a very long time and my husband has been very patient. It happened before I even met my husband, still he relit that fire in me. Glad he did. Still the rape left its scars and in a lot of ways, I will never look at sex the same way again. The way it goes I guess. I thoroughly enjoyed your honesty and found it extremely refreshing. Well done!!


  8. Quite personal indeed! Very daring and fascinating! Very brave if I may say so :)

  9. @Kathy29156: I'm sorry that happened to you.

    @Claudia: thank you!

  10. I have depression issues and from time to time I "cycle" into periods where I shut down in the sexy department. I think for various reasons everyone goes through something like that at least once in their lives.

    That Jeffrey Donovan is quite the cutie...I love Burn Notice!

    I get that rush for Justin's crazy because I am too old to have cared about Nsync at all (and I didn't) I'm old enough to be his...ahem...older sister but something about that boy gets me all a flutter :)

  11. So good to see a woman posting about real issues. That's what I love about this group. I got me some, younger than me, much younger, and oh boy did everything reignite!
    Gotta say, no idea who this film bloke is, but if we're adding men to the sexual casserole.... can I add a pinch of Alan Rickman and a large portion of Keanu Reeves? *chuckle* Fab post *hugs*

  12. @Stephtee: Jeffrey Donovan gets me all twitterpated personally :)

    @Mojo Writin': I'm never afraid to talk about real issues. Unlike some idiots my blog is a REAL no spin zone lol