Scratch

Written 12/8/08

I suppose one good thing I can honestly say about my life (with the exception of puberty, but that was horrible for everyone), is that I do not wish I could drop everything and slip into something more interesting.

I would never dream of dropping my kid, family, friends, just so I could pursue a new beginning.

My accomplishments in this world may seem minuscule to some.  I know there are people out there who are convinced they are better than me because they have more fame and money than I myself probably ever will.

 I have run into people in my life (some I associate with occasionally) who have various degrees of fame in their own rights, and they have never once made me feel like because I don't lead the same lives they do, I am less of a person.

Why?  Simple.  They all busted their asses to get where they are today.  They all have heard my story (some have heard it in more detail than others because I am closer to them), and they respect me for having lived through what I did at the beginning of 2007.  I survived it and came out a better, stronger person. As corny as cliche as that sounds, it's completely true.

Certainly not everyone can say the same.

The funny thing is, the beginning of 2008 is just a piece of the big picture of hardships in my life.

I have just gotten to the point that I am so used to nothing in my life coming easy, I am so used to getting knocked down, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to.

Of course, I vent here or in my paper diaries (my insides can morph into a literal pressure cooker; if I don't take the time out to let loose that steam, all hell breaks loose).  It's just the healthy thing to do.

Of course, I get really sick of having to scratch and claw my way through everything.  Who wouldn't?

That does not mean that I am going to give up.

Just the thought of giving up makes me want to laugh.