Wednesday, October 12, 2011


As I say in the "about me" section of my blog, my brain is a cauldron of pop culture. Well, to tell you the truth, that is only half right. My brain is a cauldron, period. It always has been. I run around with stories stories stories- my imagination was and still is a spectrum that would make a rainbow jealous.

However, there is one thing that is always nice and sparkling clear. "Clear as an unmuddied lake. Clear as an azure sky of deepest summer". That thing, my one true thing, is my daughter.

It felt like bubbles rumbling around in my tummy. I thought is was just the movement of my organs a usual, nothing of note. Then it happened again. Bubbles. In a very concentrated area this time.

I was sitting on the couch in my parent's house, watching TV, minding my own business, and my daughter decides to say hello by poking me in my intestine. I froze. Waited.

There it was again-my mini me. Beginning to make her debut in this world.

From then on she never stopped moving, save for a brief second or to when she was born. She's always going going going.

Everytime I lie and cuddle with her, face to face, I reminisce about the time of my life when that chubby little face and big blue eyes were nothing more than bubbles.

I was meant to be a mother. Throughout my life I always balked at the thought of having kids-I was always about my writing and about my career. Now, I know my purpose. I am a mother. I used to think that road was droll, insignificant even since there are no rewards other than the development of another human being. I wasn't meant to procreate, unlike some mothers (and I have no problem with that). I was meant to be a Mom.

Mother to the spitting image of myself. Life is good.


  1. This is a beautifully written and touching tale of the mother who understands her miracle. Every breath for the rest of her existence will touch you. I loved reading this and she will, too. Please be sure to save it for her to peruse as an adult.

  2. Aw, you'll have to put this in a birthday card when she gets older. Sigh.

  3. @GPD: It will probably be the speech at her 16th birthday :)

  4. I was the same way. I said I would never have kids, but when I did, OH! I never expected motherhood to change my life so! I love reading posts that I can so relate to.

  5. I always wanted kids, but I didn't have a clue about what i was getting into. I tell people that raising children is the most frightening, frustrating, irritating, fascinating, interesting--and rewarding--thing you will ever do.

  6. Great post. So you were meant to be a mother and to have a great daughter. Been past that. Four kids, now twelve grandchildren. All different - but we love them all!

  7. This reminds me of when we had ours; i wrote baby book thoughts on each one. love stories and every precious lil step and song..and then they hit teenager'hood' and gosh..forgot ALOT..then the granbabies came and it all rushed back in! ((hugs)) loved you!

  8. Life really is good. And this post was truly lovely. :O)

  9. Thank you all for your kind words!