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Sunday, October 16, 2011

SAFE HAVEN

Books and music. Those are the first things I always think about when I hear the words "safe haven".

I have not exactly had a smooth ride into adulthood. Not that anybody has, if you think about it.

I was bullied constantly for being really chubby in elementary school. I never fought back. Somehow I knew that being quiet until it was over or at least leaving the scene of the person whom is bullying me was the best way to handle it. That is what I have done with every confrontation I ever faced from elementary school through to senior year of high school. I just didn't "do fights", although they were certainly enough around me to jump in on.

My high school could be really volatile when it wanted to be. Any school that's been plopped in a low cost urban area seem to have more fights than schools with strong funding, to be honest. I have had my fill of watching two guys or two girls woven in a scrap for whatever reason. Some of the fights I had seen or heard of were pretty much about image (like trying to seem like the bad-ass of the fight), and some where pretty dicey and violent.

It can be stressful to be forced to deal with such drama day after day. This is why my escape, my safe haven, was books and music. I read so many books and collected so many CD's that all I would do in my spare time is sit reading a book or laying out in my bed listening to music. I was quite the audio/bibliophile in high school. While kids my age were experimenting with alcohol and drugs, I spent my freshman year deciphering the novel "A Clockwork Orange". When the popular girls played the "whose holding my hair while I puke in the toilet" game, I studied Monty Python's Flying Circus and The Kids In The Hall to see if it could make me a funnier writer. I suppose it is my imagination that has always been my safe haven. The more I tap into it the calmer I get. Using my imagination whenever and wherever I can seems to be my life's calling.

11 comments:

  1. Mine, as well, Kate. As long as I can escape into someone else's book or engulf myself in creating my own story, I am safe and protected. This is a very nice look inside you. Thanks.

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  2. Well, one thing's for sure, you are not the star that burned out in high school. The strongest people seem to build slowly toward a lasting brilliance. Life is full of possibilities and now you're a safe haven for your little one, so plug in your favorite CD and rock on

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  3. That's a shame that happened to you in childhood. I like reading, but I have a ginormous collection of CD's. Music has been my escape as well.

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  4. You made the right choice by choosing books over toilet puking. Nothing like a good book with characters who one can relate too… although "Clockwork Orange" can be a bit disturbing. I usually don't think of it as safe. ;)

    Also, kids can be jerks. Hopefully they'll have grown up by the time you see them at the next high school reunion.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/10/gbe2-safe-haven.html

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  5. My school years also resulted in a huge CD collection, but I would stand in front of my mirror and basically "perform" for myself.

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  6. High school is something to be gotten through - it's a rite of passage, but not real life. Bullying has been around forever, and it needs to be wiped out. On the other hand, it made you seek escape, which eventually led you here where we could read this peek inside you, and that has been lovely. :D

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  7. Books were my safe haven too. While the faster kids were being...well...FAST. I was reading. Partly because of living in the country, another part because my parents raised us with values and last because I just plain liked living in my head and still do. As I recall, Clockwork Orange wasn't around until I was in my 20's - or, at least, that is when it came into my peripheral vision. But, I never read it because it just wasn't my cup of tea. But, in high school, I fairly devoured every Pearl S. Buck book in our public library.

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  8. thank you everyone for commenting!

    @Darlene: Anthony Burgess (the author of A Clockwork Orange) is an acquired taste. Clockwork is very violent but it's very cutting edge because of Burgess's melding basically three different languages to make one of his own. I'm the girl who always scored really high on my language comprehension tests so I really like the book on that level. JRR Tolken (The lord of the rings author) is the only other author that I can think of that has created his own language as well.

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  9. Music is definitely a huge safe haven for me. I can get lost in music for hours and hours--and totally escape everyone and everything around me.

    Great post!! Jenn

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  10. Music and books are a safe haven for me. I love to lose myself in both!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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  11. I am glad you have that safe haven. I have also had great self care in books, music, exercise, and writing....

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