Thursday, March 15, 2012

To Be

To be a successful as a blogger who has chosen the "personal journal" category to write under, I can't hold back.  When it comes to the internet, I don't owe anyone my social life, but to be a great writer is more than being a great reader.  It is being able to take great risks.  I risk unintentionally hurting the feelings of others or embarrassing people I care about.  I have so much I want to share with the world but I don't want to hurt anyone.

I suppose if I change names to protect the privacy of certain people who I literally cannot write about because if their boss or co-worker could sniff around the Google machine and the last thing I want is someone losing their job over some unsavory, off-the-cuff observations or anecdotes of mine.

I've been wanting to turn my journals into a book ever since I started writing a diary when I was first grade.  Even my father said I should do it (with discretion, of course).  I have so much to tell.  Years and years of trying so hard to find out exactly who I am.  It's raw.  That's the best way I can describe my journals.  Raw.  Especially after I fell in love with Anais Nin.  Should I create an expurgated version of my life and wait until certain "characters" have left this world in order to publish the full truth?   If my family cannot take what I have written, I suppose I should warn them not to read it.  There is a lot that has been held back from them.  Maybe the truth will set me free and the burden of my past will be lifted.

I have been deliberating this for long enough.

Semi-autobiographical.  I believe this is my best bet.  Lord knows I am good with making up characters on the internet.

I feel good about this decision.

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