|LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY|
There is one person I met on livejournal.com who really made a difference for me as far as my self esteem goes. This person is considered an "indy" celebrity. I'll call him "Ducky".
Ducky was a person I found while I was scoping out different groups on livejournal one day. I started following Ducky and he and I also started IMing each other not long after we met. I suppose he thought I was pretty cute because he would joke around about how I should give him a "show" (IE throw my webcam up for him and let him watch me have fun with my vibrator). I had never done this before, but eventually I said OK.
I was a nervous WRECK. Hands and knees trembling, shortness of breath, heart pounding "Oh dear Lord please don't let me look like a fool while I'm doing this" WRECK. I remedied that nervousness by just keeping my eyes shut and pretending it was his hands touching me all over and working my vibrator until I came.
And I came hard.
Before and after Ducky had met me, he had watched other girls do webcam shows for him, but he would always come back to me, teasing me, telling me to turn the cam on and let him see me naked almost every time we talked. I had no idea that he didn't know he was the first person I had ever given a webcam show to. I suppose it was the noises I make when I'm starting to get excited. After I told him he most definitely was the first I'd done that for anyone, Because of this I became his undisputed favorite, and I know I always will be.
Ducky wanting me like that all the time for so long when he could be spending his time with any other girl he chose helped me come to terms with my own sexuality, and that first webcam show is when I realized that I really am a "kinkster". I am what I am and my sexual appetite is what it is, and I'll be forever grateful to him for helping me come out of my shell.
The last show I gave him? I was dancing around, my body back to its normal weight.. I danced in front of my cam in black thigh high stockings and nothing else.
That should be enough milage for the spank bank to last him a long damn time. ;)