Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Mindy McCready

If someone's made up their mind to make sure their suicide is successful, there's nothing you can do about it. Sounds harsh, but this is a type of drowning that no lifeline will help. Addiction on the other hand, is a lot more insidious. I know this because in high school I became an addict. I was given tylanol with codeine for menstrual cramps. The first time I got high from them it was like a whole new world was introduced, a world where finally my body didn't hurt at all.

I also have PTSD and deal with panic attacks and anxiety in general, so I started xanax. That's when everything went to hell. I have smoked pot a few times, but I've never and WILL never try any other illegal drug. I have abused alcohol a bunch of times but I am definitely not addicted to it.

My impending demise is due to prescription drugs. I still have trouble not swiping pills from others, but I have been working so hard not to do that anymore, because it makes me really depressed for a week after.

After my daughter was born I fought really hard to get off pain killers and xanax and as time goes by I get further and further away from those damn things that ruined my life for so long. I haven't touched xanax in over 3 years.

Mindy I knew was not long for this world. I wish I wasn't right about that, but I've seen enough people who were not long for this world because of their addiction and trauma issues.

Unless you have a magic wand, no one can be "cured" of an addiction. You just go day by day working on keeping the Big Sadness at bay, because it will be in your life until you die.

No comments:

Post a Comment