There are days when it gets bad. Then worse.
I feel these days like I did when I was in the hospital. Instead of walls that keep me from taking a breath of fresh air whenever I want, I have walls that keep me from doing the most menial tasks. They feel like Herculean efforts. It makes me look as though I don't care. It makes me look lazy. Ungrateful for what I have.
There are days when getting out of bed feels like I will fall off the edge of the Earth of I take one step off.
The only true respite I receive is through medication. To calm me within the hour. To lessen the burden.
To turn the world I see into a lighter shade of grey.