Thursday, December 23, 2010

The first Christmas

This year will be the first Christmas and the first holiday without my brother in law, already. My parents, my daughter and I will be at my sister's house for Christmas Eve. Her husband put up her tree and there were presents sitting under it last time I was at her house. "Her" house. Yet another thing I have to get used to. My sister is a single mother. I say that in my head over and over and it still stuns me. It hasn't hit me fully that he's gone. When I"m at my sister's house I sit there and catch myself waiting for him to come out of their bedroom or coming in from just having stopped at a convenience store.

All I can do right now at this minute is pray. That's all I have been doing since Steve died. Pray,pray, pray.


  1. Harder still might be the striking of the Christmas scene from the home - then your sister will need you the most. If I could I would be there to hold you all when these moments become too much to bear. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas but feel as though I want to more so wish you strength and fortitude during this time of pain. I'll be thinking of you all.

  2. Thank you: I definitely feel that my sister needs me, I know she does, and I try to be there for her as much as I can, even if it's just a text message to her while she's at work, I try to let her know I'm here for her.